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Blog entries by I Killed Everyone

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  1. I finally got my qualifications in business for certificate 2. My team want me to go ahead and do cert 3, I decided on retail operations instead. I start on Thursday for the same amount of time as the last one. So five hours per week, once a week. I heard from a friend that it is hard, not too...
  2. I still like dark music and like writing reading about pagan type things. But I think I would like to go back to the church of god and preach the word again. It's fun, gets me more social and aware of the outside world and most of all, god loves me and my family a lot. I think it's for...
  3. So this year for me has been rather good. I am doing a course and loving every moment of it. I am still single, but that's a given. Since I don't care about finding someone. I still have negative thoughts and energies sometimes. I try to dispel that in practical ways whenever possible. And I...
  4. I will be staying at my dad's place for Christmas and my cousins and my twin brother are confirmed as guests. How family get together's aren't that big, but we all have a nice time. It will probably be asian themed cuisine with my new mum doing the cooking. I also can't wait to see my little...
  5. I have all this "weirdness" in my head and I dislike it greatly. I made myself look like a fool in front of people (even though on the internet it only half matters) and I feel trapped and "alone" while my demons grow ever stronger and always feed off me. I question if I will do something...
  6. This blog is in continuation of my personal (message to someone thread) and it comes in two past Years ago I was at a swimming carnival, well many years ago now. And I was physically spent for no real reason. I am thinking the heat? Anyways. I blacked out in the pool and in my...
  7. As much as I liked Satanism and how it interested me. I prefer a faith more close to home rather than strictly opposed. I am going to research the Germanic Paganism teachings of Odinism That is... when my book on the subject arrives from the UK. England is too far away and it should get...
  8. I've always liked history as a high schooler growing up. The big bad world is made less destructive by dwelling into our past. My ancestors, though scattered around Europe and South East Asia. I recognize it and identify as what heritage I have in my genetic make up. Norse was really...
  9. I only had a maximum of 6 months to finish the course. To be blunt the teacher we had before kept pushing us around and wasting much needed study time, though she was nice. ALSO I kept overdoing how much work needed to be done on an assignment, or had gotten misplaced on where I was at in...
  10. I dream a lot... It's no secret. All kept bottled up in some hidden abyss, waiting to be found by some sailor off the beaten path, wrecked upon the rocks. The siren tired and worn out. Singing and not getting her due ends, not even a measely mention. I know dreams can never be fully...
  11. I write to you in this blog in a moment of weakness. Not the typical panic attack, paranoid weakness like many times before. The more "it happened, let's break it down" state. I still get panic attacks. It happens. I still get anxious. It happens I am more into wondering how to conclude...
  12. I said I would keep my set. I didn't... I let everybody down that believed in me. Not to say I am a liar for changing it. It's just like any addiction. It's hard to control the urges you face with every struggle. An uphill battle wouldn't be far off the mark. I just get so "into" my...
  13. I am going to PROVE to the disbelievers that I can keep the current set I've got now. Sure I've failed horribly in the past. Make no mistake it's hard to keep a group of characters from shows you like active, when you see faults in them as clear as day. But this time I AM FUELED TO DO IT!...
  14. The title is a reference to my psychotic symptoms. I have so much delusional thinking going on, I can no longer decide whether I am dreaming or awake. It lets me create great sounding poetry at LEAST. Still, taking medication everyday is a chore and not. I like taking it for the calmness...
  15. Mentally I feel weirded out, perplexed, isolated from my feelings and emotion. They come on too strongly. I know I am not the only one suffering out there, though it makes me feel emotionless at times. I understand myself and my purpose for living. I know I THINK about death and misery too...